For Sale: Dead Puppies
by Clayton Makepeace
Old joke:
A guy has two daughters. One’s a perky little blonde - a cheerleader and a hopeless optimist. The other is a Goth: She’s dyed her hair black, painted her fingernails black, wears black lipstick, heavy black mascara and is a dyed-in-the-wool pessimist.
Wanting to show each of them a more balanced view of life, Dad hits upon an idea: He’ll give his little pessimist a pony - and he’ll present his optimistic daughter with a steaming pile of horse poop.
So when the little Goth comes home from school, Dad follows her to see how she’ll react to the pony he left for her in her bedroom. “Oh no - not a pony,” shrieks the Goth. “This is terrible: I’m going to have to feed and water it every day, clean up after it every day – and someday, it’ll get sick and die!”
Shaking his head in bewilderment, Dad checks to see how his little optimist is reacting to the pile of manure in her bedroom. Sure enough – she’s dancing around, throwing manure in the air like confetti and shouting “Yippee! Yippee!”
Baffled at his daughter’s euphoria, the father has to ask: “I filled your room with manure – why are you so happy?!”
“Because with all this horse poop,” says the little optimist, “there’s got to be a pony in here somewhere!”
